Leadership Is a Game of Nerves: Navigating Inner Turmoil and Authority Challenges

Discover how to handle challenges to your authority as a leader and develop strategies for navigating complex emotional landscapes.

Leadership is not just about guiding others; it’s about managing the complexities within ourselves. These complexities often become more pronounced when our inner world goes through somersaults during various leadership situations. A recent coaching conversation with a client illustrated this perfectly.

The client shared an experience where his team failed to update him that they were collaborating with another team and its leader to resolve some issues they were blocked on. He expressed mixed feelings, saying, “While I’m happy they’re seeking solutions on their own and engaging in cross-team work, I can’t help but wonder if my authority is being undermined here.”

This is a natural dilemma many leaders face: the balance between ensuring your leadership is respected and empowering your team to grow and solve problems independently. Respect is the currency of leadership, yet growing and developing your team is equally vital. Which one takes priority?


Reframing Leadership from the Inside Out

As we explored the situation, I asked the client, “What was happening inside of you when this came to your attention?” His response was revealing: he felt betrayed, angry about what he perceived as insubordination, and insecure about his leadership position.

However, when we looked at the external situation, another perspective emerged. The client was not yet the team's designated leader—he was their natural leader, managing the team but without the official title. It was possible the team had informed their official reporting manager, and he simply wasn’t looped in due to this gap in formal leadership structure.

We then worked through his feelings using my 3-Step PRO Method to address leadership challenges:

  • Personal- Self Leadership: 
    1. When our authority is challenged, it can trigger feelings of insecurity, self-doubt, and fear of losing control. These emotions can cloud our judgment and lead to reactive behaviors that undermine our leadership. Acknowledging & confronting insecurities allows leaders to understand their triggers and develop resilience. By transforming these feelings into opportunities for growth, leaders can cultivate a more robust and confident presence that respect from their teams.
  • Relational: 
    1. Leadership Is a Role, Not a Position: True leadership isn’t just about titles—it’s about influence and guidance. He was already showing natural leadership.
    2. Executive Presence: How could he show up more powerfully and connect better with the team? We discussed the importance of building trust and maintaining presence through clarity, communication, and confidence.
  • Organizational: 
    1. We explored the idea of setting up systems that encourage transparent communication across all team members. I encouraged him to have a conversation with the team, starting with recognition: “I heard you collaborated with another team to solve the issue—great work! Let’s make sure we’re all aligned moving forward.”


Conclusion: Leadership is often a game of nerves

How well you manage your inner world directly impacts how you show up externally. When we’re self-partnered and grounded, we can lead with strength and presence. Solid outer leadership translates into effective leadership overall.

If you’re looking to strengthen your leadership from the inside out, join the LeadwithEASE program, designed to help leaders like you grow their leadership presence, emotional control, and team influence. We also offer a Self-Leadership Certification to deepen your journey.

DM me to learn more and elevate your leadership today!


Categories: : Leadership