4 Shocking Reasons Leaders Self-Sabotage Just Before They Succeed ( Founders Too!) Afraid of the Top

Afraid to Succeed? Why do leaders sabotage promotions and founders walk away from profits

The company launched a new program, designed to fast-track high performers to leadership positions. One promising Director - my client Alex, was thrilled when his leader confidently told him the program could put him on the VP track within two years. Alex geared up, excited about this specific path.

However, 6 months later HR threw a curveball. They informed Alex that the VP pathway within the organization had changed. While the program still offered the same benefits, power, and future potential, the path itself would now take him to a VP position within a different area of the organization - a subsidiary company. HR assured him they'd support him in this new, faster track to VP – potentially within six months.

This news sent Alex into a tailspin. He was upset and confused. Why the sudden change? His mind was set on the originally discussed path, and the new one, despite offering a quicker promotion, just didn't sit right with him.

He refused the position and was very frustrated with his HR.

So, what was going on with Alex?

Through our coaching sessions, we identified four core beliefs that seemed to be creating a conflict. While Alex clearly desired the VP position, these beliefs appeared to be holding him back, creating a disconnect between his aspirations and his internal convictions.

It's easy to assume senior leaders have everything figured out, but that's not always the case. Sometimes, rapid career advancement can leave personal development lagging behind. This lack of a strong foundation can manifest as self-sabotaging behaviors. Essentially, their inner world – their self-awareness and emotional intelligence – may not have kept pace with their external achievements.

4 Core Beliefs/ Shocking Reasons that were holding Alex back

As I coached him, I discovered the following 4 core beliefs that prevented Alex from taking the position:

1. Internal Success Thermostat

We all have an inner thermostat that regulates our perceived level of success. This is influenced by our background, family achievements, and personal aspirations. Once we reach this self-imposed limit, we stop striving for more, even if greater opportunities are within reach. For my client, his thermostat was set to being a supportive number two, rather than the lead.

2. Fear of Change and Growth:

Many people struggle with change, especially when it disrupts their carefully laid plans. My client was thrown off by the change in HR’s policy and the need to adapt to a new environment in the subsidiary company. This fear of the unknown often causes leaders to miss out on growth opportunities.

3. Shame Associated with Success:

Success can be intimidating, leading to feelings of selfishness or materialism. My client was embarrassed by his ambitions, struggling to reconcile them with his desire for humility and spirituality. This internal conflict made it difficult for him to embrace success wholeheartedly.

4. Identity Vision - Small vs Big

Opportunities that surpass our self-image can be daunting. My client couldn’t see himself as the top leader and was scared of the changes and responsibilities that came with the VP role. This identity crisis made him back away from the opportunity, despite it aligning with his long-term goals.

What should Leaders do to stop sabotaging their success

These beliefs are not uncommon among leaders, even those who seem to have it all figured out. Rapid career growth can sometimes outpace personal development, leaving leaders grappling with internal challenges that hinder their progress.

To overcome these barriers, leaders must work on aligning their dreams with their internal beliefs. This involves deep self-reflection and often, the guidance of a professional coach. My client eventually embraced a new mindset and landed a CEO position in another firm, far surpassing his initial goal.

You don't have to go it alone

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Connect with your essence, be an instrument

Each soul has greater potential than the sun. According to the Vedic scriptures, the soul is more powerful than the sun because it is spiritual in nature, whereas the sun is matter. This immense power within us comes from how God has invested His glory and abilities in us. Instead of feeling embarrassed about your success and viewing it as materialistic or arrogant, you can see it as a manifestation of God's potential within you.

Embrace the opportunities and positions that come your way as part of God’s plan for you. Think of your success as a way to serve a greater purpose. Ask yourself, "How can I be an instrument of God's energy, love, compassion, and impact through my work?" When you view your achievements through this lens, you can overcome self-doubt and move out of your own way, allowing yourself to reach your highest leadership potential.

This reminds me of a beautiful quote from Marianne Williamson in her book "A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles":

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Reflect on these words and let them resonate with you. By embracing your light and success, you can create a positive impact on the world around you.

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Categories: : Leadership