A healthy relationship has a balanced dynamic that fosters trust, intimacy, and personal growth, while avoiding emotional dependence and codependency.
Today we are going to talk about how a relationship can be healthy when two emotionally independent and secure individuals learn to be interdependent with each other and support each other. Let's dive in.
First, let's talk about what it means to be emotionally independent and secure in a relationship.
Emotional independence means that you are self-sufficient and can take care of your emotional needs without relying on your partner. Emotional security means that you have a strong sense of self-worth and confidence, and you feel safe and secure in your relationship.
When two emotionally independent and secure individuals come together in a relationship, they create a healthy and balanced dynamic. They are not needy or codependent, and they respect each other's boundaries and personal space. Instead, they learn to be interdependent with each other and support each other in meaningful ways.
Let's look at three instances of how such couples support each other.
First, they encourage each other's personal growth and independence. They understand that individual growth is important for the growth of their relationship, and they support each other in pursuing their individual interests and passions.
Second, they communicate openly and honestly with each other. They share their thoughts, feelings, and opinions without fear of judgment or rejection. This allows them to build trust and deepen their connection.
Third, they work together as a team to overcome challenges and solve problems. They approach problems as a unit, rather than as individuals, and they support each other through difficult times.
What happens when people are not emotionally independent and how they become codependent or clingy or avoidant?
When people are not emotionally independent, they may become codependent or clingy. Codependency is a relationship where one person's needs are met at the expense of the other person's needs. The codependent person relies heavily on their partner for emotional support and validation, and they may feel anxious or insecure when they are not with their partner.
Clingy behavior is also a sign of emotional dependence. A person who is clingy may constantly seek reassurance and attention from their partner, and they may feel uncomfortable or anxious when their partner is not around.
On the other hand, some people become emotionally avoidant in relationships. They may avoid emotional intimacy and closeness, and they may distance themselves from their partner to protect themselves from getting hurt. This behavior can lead to a lack of emotional connection and intimacy in the relationship.
Examples from Scripture
Draupadi and Yudhishthira were characters from the Indian epic, Mahabharata. Despite facing many challenges and conflicts, they maintained a strong and healthy relationship. Yudhishthira was known for his honesty, integrity, and wisdom, while Draupadi was a strong and assertive woman who stood up for herself and her beliefs. Together, they supported each other through thick and thin, and their relationship was built on trust, mutual respect, and open communication. They were interdependent without being codependent, and they encouraged each other's personal growth.
Another example of a healthy relationship from the Mahabharat is the relationship between Krishna and Arjuna. Krishna was a wise and compassionate teacher, while Arjuna was his devoted student and friend. They had a deep and meaningful relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual support. Krishna encouraged Arjuna's questions in the Bhagavad Gita and helped him overcome his fears and doubts, while Arjuna trusted Krishna's guidance and advice.
When you read the Bhagavad Gita you also realize how Lord Krishna gave Arjuna complete space to "not fight the war, and do what works for him" while answering Arjuna's questions without worrying about how it might affect his emotions.
Of course the Lord is the Lord Himself and we cannot bring Him down to our mundane relationship levels. Through His earthly activities He sets an example for all of us in relationships, dharma and more.
These two examples demonstrate how a healthy relationship can be possible between two emotionally secure and self-partnered individuals who learn how to be interdependent and support each other. They communicate openly, respect each other's boundaries, and encourage each other's personal growth. They are not needy or codependent, but rather they complement each other's strengths and weaknesses. By striving for emotional independence and security, they create strong and healthy relationships that bring joy, fulfillment, and growth to both partners.
To sum up, a healthy relationship requires two emotionally independent and secure individuals who learn to be interdependent with each other and support each other in meaningful ways. They encourage each other's personal growth, communicate openly and honestly, and work together as a team. In contrast, people who are emotionally dependent may become codependent or clingy, while those who are emotionally avoidant may distance themselves from their partner.