Embrace the Every day struggles with Ease. Discover the Top 5 Tools to Navigate Life's Challenges.
I often find myself surrounded 360 with several problems at one given time. physical pains, worry of child not improving , child not learning fast enough , tired of day to day routine, stress due to judgment from others, getting reminded of all the guilt from past , non compliance from child, child’s health condition and the list goes on and on…
As a mother of an autistic child , it is very natural to feel very overwhelmed with these situation. Especially when it comes as a package. To handle all these external situations and taking care of own emotions happens to be an extremely draining task. It sucks your entire energy making you even more weak both mentally and physically.
But the irony is you cannot stop. Because your child depends on you. Somewhere your well-being is proportional to your child's well being. And you know that.. You are aware that child needs you however you are unaware that you need help first.
But what can you do ?
We often tell ourselves that I will feel better once my child’s illness ends , when he starts talking, once he starts going to mainstream school, once people stop blaming me for everything and understand me, once I am healthy, once he become independent etc.
Since your happiness and peace is dependent on external factors you end up feeling more helpless, restless leading to even greater anxiety. With all that stress you might also find yourself picking up scenes from the past , related fears from future and direct a more horrifying movie about something that you feel could be a living possibility.
No doubt life seems scary but don’t you think it is more scary in the head. And then you feel being in a marsh from which no one can save you. For some it takes days , for others months and for some sadly it becomes a never ending experience.
But what does this imply ? Did I as well contributed to how I am feeling? Can I do something about it? - Are some self reflections questions popping in your head
Let me take you through the top 5 key tools that can help you smoothly surf the strong high tides of life
1.This Too Shall Pass
It is important at this time to remember that it is not the first time you are facing these challenges, you might have cribbed over these events in the past but ultimately it passed. and so shall this. Dealing with the past challenges enriched your experience enabling you to handle situations better. It is said that same situations keep happening in our lives because perhaps we haven’t learnt enough. It is important to remember that no matter how much painful our past experiences has been but it has brought us immense learning , strength and wisdom.
These events are here to make you emotionally stronger and wiser. It has and will continue to strengthens your power of resilience and patience.
And every time you face these challenges, you get an opportunity to go deeper in your being and collect more jewels waiting for you..
Now replace Why me ? With
What is there for me ?
2. Sufferings Brings Awakening
Sounds crazy right ? You pick up the life story of anyone who emerged heroic, their life has been filled with extreme suffering and misery. Suffering has the potential to bring tremendous amount of awareness and awakening.
It reveals where you are , who you are , what are your triggers, how you feel ,what are your thoughts. But all I feel is low , miserable, helpless -you might say. And the question is -can you do something about the way you feel? Yes ,this all needs deeper inner work.
By knowing your inner scripts and dialogues you can bring that drastic shift in the way you feel in the same situations. In the same situations where you couldn’t help to feel miserable and only miserable. It empowers you to stay balanced and focused in extreme challenges. it’s the way of universe to do your personality development training.
The more you are receptive the more jewels you collect. To learn more check out - Inner script - …….
3.Self Care & Self LOVE
Embrace yourself. Respect and accept yourself for who you are. Accept your flaws with pride same as your accept your strengths . Your life is your responsibility but your well being is your utmost responsibility.
It is important to take some time out from your busy schedule and do something for yourself .. be it walking , running, swimming, going out with friends and family. things that you enjoy like painting , reading , dancing in ecstasy , singing, playing instruments etc. I know it’s sounds crazy too and hard considering the amount of responsibility and pressure an autism mom has , but believe me it’s worth it.
The more I practice these the less overwhelmed I am with unforeseen challenges coming my way. My motivation to focus on my emotional well-has been my son more than my own self. The more I fill my bucket with self care and love the more it spills naturally on to my son.
A joyous and relaxed mother is the best gift you could give to your child. As you know ,be it neuro-typical or diverse ,children learn by observing. A contented mother can be more available to the child, be able to co- regulate and model the way to live life in the best possible manner.
4.Magnitude of Gratitude
Amid the challenges, practicing gratitude helps to ground yourself . Shifting your focus from what's lacking to what you have. Beginning your day with gratitude and acknowledging the small joys that exist has the power to help you manage difficult situations with lot of ease.
Thanking the lord for sending this beautiful innocent soul in your life , Giving your life a deeper meaning and wonderful purpose to live for. This shift in perspective can alleviate anxiety and offer moments of serenity. Remember there are people who crave for this unconditional love for the whole life and remain disappointed forever. We are blessed to be bestowed with these pious souls in our lives who have blessed us with unconditional love and motherhood which is irreplaceable by any form of love in the whole world.
“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”
Gilbert C. Chesterton.
5.The Gift of Surrender
To illustrate the power of surrender, consider the example of Arjuna from the epic Mahabharata. On the battle field of Mahabharata , Arjuna , the greatest warrior, found himself loaded with self doubts , inner conflicts and dilemma , whether to fight and kill his own relatives or to drop the weapons.
In the midst of war zone , perplexed and totally lost he couldn’t make a decision on what to do. In his moment of extreme confusion, he surrendered to Lord Krishna for guidance. Like when you embrace your child in distress and pain and say everything will be alright, same way Lord will embrace you and empower you to face any challenges coming your way.
HE loves you immensely no matter who you are and how you are, as a father to his child and protects you from the inner demons haunting you to your core. Faith has the capacity to move mountains. As Faith and Fear cannot co-exist, when you connect with the supreme power all your fears will vanish in the mode of surrender.
Our limited intelligence can only perceive things based on what we have experienced in the past, based on what our sub conscious mind believes is right or wrong.
Confronting life from a place of fear could only lead to undesired reactions and decisions. However when we tap into greater intelligence we find greater and far more meaning in the same situation.
Faith brings magic, till the time we let our skeptic mind to look everything from logical mind we keep blocking the true magic that Universe wants to reveal to us. Surrendering to the universe or the Supreme Lord allows you to take a dip in the ocean of wisdom.
Once you surrender and be like a river just flowing , not clinging on to the passing emotions anger, pain, fears, guilt, judgment, and know that you are guided, you ultimately will pave your path slowly but steadily out of the misery.
Surrendering to the higher consciousness doesn’t necessarily mean that your circumstances would change but you surely will gain the strength, the support and the guidance that you need to emerge as a peaceful warrior in the ways you had never imagined.
Because When you Surrender, you don't look for God, God looks for you....
“Take shelter in Him with all the eagerness of thy heart. By His grace thou shalt obtain the utmost peace and the Eternal Shelter.” In Him I have found the joy of my life, the indescribable blessedness of my existence, the wonderful realization of His everywhereness right within me"
Swami Paramhansa Yognanda
Autistic parenting is a journey filled with unique challenges, but it’s also an opportunity for immense personal growth. You can choose to embrace challenges as opportunities, prioritizing self-care, and nurturing a grateful mindset, to practice stability in the midst of chaos.
Observe your thoughts and emotions and be more conscious about it. That’s opening a Pandora box , one might say. Well, your sub consciousness is holding it open since long. It just that it goes unnoticed or you might just be rejecting it.
Remember, you have the power to transform difficulties into stepping stones toward a more resilient, fulfilled, and balanced life. Don’t go for giant leaps instead take small steps everyday for incremental self growth. So, when the storms of chaos swirl around you, you are well guarded by the new ways of dealing with the same situation.
Remember the story of Arjuna and embrace the gift of surrender. Allow yourself to be held by the hands of a greater wisdom. Autism parenting is a journey from misery to self discovery , feeling cursed to feeling spiritually elevated and from ignorance to self realization.
What do you choose ?
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"I am an Ease Coach and a dedicated Autism Mom. Back in 2017, I embarked on a profound journey of self-discovery, and since then, I’ve been blessed with divine guidance, invaluable knowledge, and the privilege of connecting with the right people who have ignited transformative changes in my life. This path is an ongoing expedition, and I am continuously learning and growing. With immense gratitude to the universe and the beautiful souls I’ve encountered on my journey, I am eager to share the wisdom I’ve gathered, with the sincere intention of spreading positivity and empowerment to all Moms who cross my path.”
Categories: Autism Mom