It's about taking responsibility for our actions, making amends where needed, and cultivating compassion & forgiveness towards ourselves & others
Empaths in a relationship with a narcissist can experience significant emotional pain and distress. Narcissists often use manipulation, gaslighting, and other tactics to control and dominate their partners, leaving empaths feeling trapped and powerless. The constant need for validation and attention from the narcissist can also leave empaths feeling drained and emotionally depleted, leading to feelings of anxiety, depression, and despair.
When a narcissist ignores or invalidates an empath, it can be a deeply painful experience for the empath. The constant need for validation and approval from the narcissist can leave the empath feeling lost and alone when those needs go unmet. The narcissist's tendency to belittle, criticize, or dismiss the empath's emotions and needs can also leave the empath feeling misunderstood and invalidated, leading to a sense of loneliness and disconnection in the relationship.
It is hard for people to understand the pain that the empath goes through unless they have experienced a narcissistic relationship themselves.The pain for the empath cuts deep and cold with no one to share it with, no one to understand them, no one to hold them and care for them.
The empath becomes frustrated, starts losing their health, their mind, their bearings, their goals , their aspirations, their present, their future, their everything because of the emotional trauma that they go through.
They are most frustrated and disturbed and are wondering what can they do to put an end to this misery, to feel better, to get their life back, to get themselves back.
One part of it is to understand their own vulnerabilities and work on overcoming them, learning how to love themselves and another is to understand the karmic lesson they need to learn to be out of the situation.
As I have mentioned in an earlier blog, both the narcissist and the empath have the same lessons to learn, however the empath is capable of learning their lessons and rise above the pain to love and joy, whereas the narcissist cannot.
Some of the lessons we have covered so far:
Radical Acceptance vs Victimization
Beautiful people have been taken in by narcissists and suffered abuse. I sincerely care about what those people go through. However, I must emphasize that those who remain trapped in victimization and continue to blame the narcissist get consumed by the narcissist's toxic energy and do more karmic harm to themselves.
When a narcissist abuses you, their dark energy can impact you deeply. As a person of God and authenticity, you are not meant to carry this trauma within you. The narcissist, on the other hand, thrives on hurting people, on your trauma on your pain.
The Law of attraction explain that your inner beliefs, emotions, and thought patterns of victimization and fear create a low frequency that attracts more painful and fearful experiences. This is why things don't seem to get better in your life while the narcissist's life continues to thrive.
Remember that you are powerful, and you can change your frequency by focusing on healing and positive thoughts. You are not a victim, and you are not meant to carry the dark energy of the narcissist within you.
Accepting our Karma : Rinanubandhana
The very fact that we have this material body, means we have karma to go through. If we were free from our karma , we would not be in this material realm caged in this material body.
The relationships in this material world are also bound by karma. We have pending karmic debts to discharge in our relationships. The Vedic System recognizes that each one of us is an eternal soul and we have had many lifetimes. We have treated some people well and some people badly. We have taken more than we received in some relationships and are giving more than what we are receiving in some relationships.
Quoting from the Padma Purana:
Rinanubhanda Rupena Pashu Patni Suta Aalaya Runakshaye Kshyayaanthi Tatra Parivedana.
"Pets, Wife, Children, Home are the result of previous birth bondage. Once the debt is annihilated there is no relationship and it ends the suffering"
Whoever comes in close relation with us is due to the karmic accounts that we have created with them in our past lives. This is called runanubandh.
The intimate give and take that we see happening with only some living beings in present life is because of our runanubandha with those beings that we’ve built in our past life.
One with whom we have had numerous physical and emotional transactions of give and take in many, many previous births, and depending upon how much we continue to owe to each other at the end of the life, a runanubandha is set up between the two beings for next life. And then, the two come together in the next life and complete the balance transactions. Whoever of the two owes whatever to the other person, returns it back to him / her, settling each transaction one by one. Once the karmic debt between the two is cleared, the difficulties go away.
Discharge your karmic debts
In the countless cycles of birth and rebirth, our subtle body continues to accumulate the memories, sufferings, and joys of all our karmic relationships. Our subtle body also carries our patterns of victimhood that we maybe following over lifetimes. Our karma manifests through these patterns too. It is only when all the karmic debts, unhelpful patterns and emotions stored in our subtle body are exhausted or burned away through our physical actions that we can attain liberation from the cycle of birth and rebirth. Essentially, we are the sum of all our past karmic relationships, and the actions we take in any current relationship reflect some form of karmic debt. Those with whom we share a strong bond or relationship are often a part of our strongest karmic debts, and they may manifest as our parents, spouses, children, or close friends in this life.
Now some karmic debts maybe small and get discharged fast, while others maybe long and need more for the debt to be fully discharged.
Understanding karmic debts, our eternal journey as souls, the false material existence we live in vs our true spiritual identity as spirit souls part and parcels of the Lord sobers our view of "reality".
It is a painful reality but it is our own karma that we are suffering in this lifetime. Karma is precise, karma does not miss and it always gets the right address.
So when we see things through this spiritual lens, we realise that our current situation is because of our past karma.We can see things form this lens when we have worked through our own difficult feelings and emotions around our situation.
Do Not Create New Karma
When we understand through guru and scriptures our current situation is our own doing, we also understand that we need to be extremely careful how we respond to our current situation.
That does not mean we don't work on our healing, or on setting boundaries or protect ourselves or work on our growth. Rather it means we do all those things without the victimhood, without the negativity, without the anger. We do it with grace, with acceptance and with repentance of our past actions.
When we learn our lessons and accept our situation with grace we protect ourselves from new karma. When we do not take responsibility for our karma , do not accept our situation with grace, we do not learn our karmic lessons, we are unable to heal our past memories and emotions, unable to change our patterns, we remain in victimhood
How Does Accepting Your Karma Help You?
Dharma the Bull Exemplifies This Lesson in the Srimad Bhagavatam
Dharma, religion personified, had taken on the form of a bull. Shaking in fear, he stood trembling on one leg, his other three legs broken. Kali, who personifies the present age of quarrel and hypocrisy, raised his club and swung it again and again, beating Dharma’s legs.
Although a common laborer, Kali was falsely dressed as a king, just as a criminal might dress as a policeman to gain trust. It seemed Kali was ready to beat his victim to death. Then Parikshit, the real king, arrived.
After ordering Kali to stop, Parikshit asked the victim to say who had caused his broken legs and pitiable condition. Dharma answered that suffering comes from many causes and therefore he couldn’t identify the real perpetrator. Besides, he said, the ultimate cause of everything is Lord Sri Krishna, and he didn’t wish to blame the Lord, who acts only for everyone’s good.
Parikshit praised the answer and declared Dharma to be the personification of religion.
“The destination intended for the perpetrator of irreligious acts,” Parikshit said, “is also intended for one who identifies the perpetrator.”
As part of his kingly duty, Parikshit then prepared to bring Kali to justice.
So when we try to identify the perpetrator for our difficulties, we are not taking responsibility for our own past actions that have led us to this situation. We can when we first heal ourselves and then try to act from a higher spiritual platform like Dharma the bull.
There are many stories of how when people haven't accepted responsibility for their current situation, they continue with their resentment over many births continually creating more karma for themselves and finding them in further terrible situations. So you want to be that or do you want to be a transition person and stop further karma
We want to reach to a spiritual elevation point for our own good that we do not hold any anger or resentment, nor create further karma for ourselves and we are released from such difficult karmic relationships.
How Can We Help?
At EASE Life Coaching we have helped many clients become more emotionally secure and solid in themselves. It has also helped them nurture themselves and work on their purpose. Sign up here to get expert coaching from Team EASE Coaches/ Namita Purohit