Don't argue or fight with a narcissist - 7 reasons! Do this instead to win every time

Getting in to an argument with a narcissist is the worst thing you can do to yourself!

Narcissism is a pattern characterized by entitlement, arrogance, lack of empathy, validation and admiration seeking, sensitivity to criticism, grandiosity, poor insight, and difficulty controlling emotions, especially when frustrated or disappointed. In some cases, narcissistic individuals can also exist in a chronic state of victimhood, and are sullen, resentful, petty, oppositional, and constantly aggrieved.

6 Reasons Not To Get Into an Argument with a Narcissist

Engaging in an argument with a narcissist can be detrimental to your well-being. Their inflated ego and constant need for validation make them relentless adversaries. They possess a remarkable ability to twist your words, manipulate your emotions, and distort reality to suit their narrative. Getting entangled in their web of self-absorption leaves you emotionally drained, mentally exhausted, and trapped in a toxic cycle that chips away at your self-esteem. It's best to protect yourself by disengaging and focusing on your own emotional well-being.

They will not see your point of view, acknowledge your needs, feelings, or emotions.
Instead of accepting their wrongdoings, they will deflect and turn the blame back on you. For instance, if you accuse them of cheating, they will laugh it off and accuse you, putting you in the guilty corner. Their goal is to overwhelm and confuse you, making you forget the original issue.
Mature fighting or resolution is impossible with a narcissist. They often become highly upset and aggressive, diverting the conversation into nonsensical rants and trivializing your concerns.
They resort to intimidation and bullying tactics. Name-calling, yelling, emotional outbursts, and low-blows are common during fights. In some cases, they may even become physically aggressive. Any reaction from you, including self-defense, will be met with accusations of being the emotional one and the initiator of the argument.
Narcissists have no qualms about lying and denying. Even if a fight escalates to screaming or physical confrontation, they will reframe the situation as an accident or claim that they were being straightforward while portraying you as overly emotional.
Engaging in arguments provides narcissists with a sense of supply. They enjoy the attention, your pleas for understanding, and your emotional distress, as it grants them a feeling of power and control over you.

You Can Never Win an Argument Against Them, Do This Instead

Choose your battles, keep your voice calm and professional. Don't defend or explain yourself; hold onto your reality. Keep bringing the focus back to your original request like a broken record. Don't bring up old grievances.

But if I were you, I would aim for a soft landing. Physically step back from the argument, very calmly, without storming off. Say, "I understand your point of view. Let me think about it, and we can revisit this later."

Walk away from the argument. Save your breath, energy, and heart from trouble. Accept that they will never understand you. You're not walking away out of weakness, but because you're strong and care about your sanity. When you walk away, they lose their power over you, driving them mad. They may try hard to guilt you back, but don't listen. Maintain the appearance of connection and just walk away from the situation. Take care of yourself and fulfill your needs on your own.

My Client Did This to Stop Getting into Arguments with His Narcissistic Mother

I had a client named Ishaan who sought my guidance in navigating his tumultuous relationship with his narcissistic mother, Neeta. Ishaan's interactions with Neeta had always escalated into intense arguments, leaving him emotionally drained and feeling trapped in a cycle of turmoil. However, Ishaan was determined to find a way to establish peace within himself and regain control over his own life.

Throughout our sessions, Ishaan embarked on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth. He recognized that engaging in arguments with Neeta only perpetuated their toxic dynamic, hindering his own well-being. With a strong desire for change, Ishaan actively sought out resources and learned about emotional resilience and boundary-setting techniques.

As Ishaan delved deeper into understanding narcissism and its impact, he began to gain insight into the underlying reasons behind Neeta's behavior. He realized that her narcissistic tendencies stemmed from her own insecurities and the need for control as a coping mechanism. This understanding helped Ishaan separate his mother's behavior from his own self-worth.

Equipped with newfound knowledge and tools, Ishaan adopted strategies to navigate his interactions with Neeta. He learned to choose his battles wisely, recognizing that not every disagreement required his attention or emotional investment. Instead, he focused on maintaining a calm and composed demeanor, refusing to be drawn into unnecessary defensive explanations.

One of the most significant shifts for Ishaan was the importance of holding onto his reality and not allowing Neeta's manipulations to distort his self-perception. Through affirmations and surrounding himself with a supportive network, Ishaan strengthened his resilience and regained confidence in his own worth and abilities.

As Ishaan implemented these changes, he observed remarkable transformations within himself. He began to prioritize his own goals and aspirations, channeling his energy into personal growth and pursuing his passions. This shift in focus allowed Ishaan to detach emotionally from Neeta's toxic behavior and discover his own strengths and abilities.

Although initially resistant to Ishaan's peaceful approach, Neeta's behavior gradually began to shift as he maintained his commitment to his own well-being. Ishaan chose to distance himself physically and emotionally from arguments, understanding that engagement would only perpetuate the cycle of pain.

Throughout his journey, Ishaan found solace in nurturing his own personal development. He embraced a fulfilling career, cultivated meaningful relationships, and practiced self-care. By prioritizing his own growth, Ishaan gradually diminished the power Neeta's narcissistic tendencies held over him.

You Need a Lot of Inner Strength to Not Engage in Arguments

In order to have the ability to walk away from toxic relationships or arguments, it requires a tremendous amount of inner strength and confidence. This kind of resilience stems from a foundation of self-work and personal growth. By investing time and effort in oneself, cultivating self-awareness, and nurturing emotional well-being, individuals can develop the necessary tools to navigate challenging situations with greater clarity and resilience. Building inner strength and confidence involves setting boundaries, learning to prioritize self-care, and cultivating a positive self-image. It is through this ongoing journey of self-improvement that individuals can find the courage to walk away from harmful dynamics and protect their own well-being.

I have seen students of our coaching program follow the steps we give to develop that inner strength and resilience within themselves. We coach them in relearning how to take care of themselves , their truth their unhealed parts we have also seen many of them get healed from some chronic health issues, auto immune diseases.

What Can You Do?

Learn how to take care of yourself, your truth, Heal your unhealed parts
There is a reason you got hooked into them, you have some vulnerabilities you need to work upon, your inner scripts and if you do not work on those you will get hooked into each and every argument with them.

The EASE Self-Mastery Program is a life coaching program to help you strengthen yourself, heal yourself, work on your triggers, your beliefs so you master yourself and can master every situation you meet.Join today to benefit from the courses, coaches and community available through the program!

Categories: Case Study, Emotional, Leadership, Narcissism, Personal Growth, Relationships