Embracing Curiosity and Suspending Judgement in Your Dance With Your Client

The journey between a coach and a client resembles an intricate dance, where curiosity takes the lead

In the dynamic world of life coaching, there exists a profound and often underestimated quality: curiosity. It's not just a trait but a powerful dance that unfolds between the coach and their clients. Much like an elegant waltz, this dance, when coupled with a non-judgmental stance, can lead to remarkable transformations in the lives of those we coach.

The Dance

The journey between a coach and a client resembles an intricate dance, where curiosity takes the lead. It's akin to a well-choreographed waltz, guided by a principle that seeks to understand the nuanced cadences of our clients' needs and desires.

In this dance, synchronization is key. Much like the partners in a graceful waltz, we, as coaches, harmonize with our clients, delicately stepping into the very frame of reference that shapes their world. It's a dance where our curiosity becomes the rhythm, allowing us to anticipate their every move, effortlessly positioning ourselves where our support is most needed.

Yet, the dance goes deeper. As we engage with our clients, we become more than just guides; we become their dance partners. Just as a skilled dancer intuitively senses their partner's movements, we place ourselves near their step, allowing us to truly feel and comprehend the nuances of their unique journey.

Within the enchanting dance of coaching, curiosity is the melody, the rhythm, and the heartbeat. This harmonious curiosity serves as our guiding light, enabling us to gently unravel the concealed facets of our clients' lives, revealing uncharted perspectives and boundless possibilities.

Giving Clients a Safe Space

This graceful dance, where curiosity takes center stage, also holds another remarkable quality - it creates a safe haven for our clients. It's a dance where non-judgmental listening and openness blend seamlessly with curiosity, allowing our clients to express themselves freely. This safe and nurturing space becomes the dance floor where they fully express themselves with gay abandon leading to profound transformations.

As coaches, we orchestrate this dance, asking questions that encourage self-reflection and exploration. We become the partners who celebrate every revelation, nurturing a sense of trust and empowerment. In this dance of coaching, curiosity without judgement isn't just a part of the melody; it's the bridge that leads to a deeper understanding and a brighter path forward.

Curiosity Without Judgement Helps The Coach Truly Serve the Client

The choice between curiosity and judgment profoundly shapes the way coaches engage with their clients, ultimately influencing the quality of support and guidance they provide. Let's explore how embracing curiosity over judgment allows coaches to keep an open mind, delve into their clients' stories, and serve them better.

1. Fosters Open-Mindedness for the Coaches: When coaches approach their clients with curiosity, they enter each coaching session with an open mind, free from preconceived notions or biases. This open-mindedness allows them to fully appreciate the uniqueness of each client's situation without imposing one's own experiences.

2. Encourages Active Listening: Curious coaches are active listeners. They hang on to every word their clients say, seeking not just to hear but to understand. This depth of understanding enables coaches to grasp the nuances of their clients' stories, helping them identify underlying issues and motivations.

3. Facilitates Empathy: Curiosity breeds empathy. As coaches delve into their clients' stories with a genuine desire to understand, they begin to empathize with their clients' experiences, emotions, and challenges. This empathy forms a strong foundation for building trust and rapport.

4. Uncovers Hidden Insights: Judgment often leads to superficial assessments, missing the richness of a client's story and experiences. Curiosity, on the other hand, encourages coaches to ask probing questions, uncovering hidden insights and perspectives that might otherwise remain unexplored.

5. Tailors Coaching Strategies: An open-minded approach fueled by curiosity allows coaches to tailor their coaching strategies to each client's unique needs. By understanding the client's story, coaches can offer more relevant guidance and support, increasing the chances of success.

6. Builds Trust: When clients sense that their coach is genuinely curious about their story, trust naturally follows. Clients feel more comfortable sharing deeply personal experiences, which is essential for effective coaching.

7. Enhances Problem-Solving: Judgment can cloud the coach's ability to see the full picture. Curiosity, however, enables coaches to see the problem from multiple angles, leading to more creative and effective problem-solving.

8. Empowers Clients: Curiosity empowers clients to take ownership of their challenges. Instead of imposing solutions, curious coaches guide clients in exploring their own options and making informed decisions.

In essence, curiosity is the key to unlocking the richness of a client's story. It allows coaches to enter into their world, learn from their experiences, and serve them better by offering guidance that is not only tailored but also empathetic and supportive. When coaches approach their work with a spirit of curiosity, they not only help their clients grow but also continue to grow and evolve as professionals.

Some Examples

I had a client once who was well set in his business and growing it really well. His issue was his inability to have a good relationship with his wife, make time for her and her children. When I took his history in our client intake form, I noticed he had an alcoholic father. I made a hypothesis that his inability to connect with his wife probably came from some emotional trauma in his childhood. However as I explored with him during our coaching sessions, I remained curious and open and did not see signs of that. In fact his inability to connect was because he could not appreciate how different his wife's personality was. If I wasn't curious, I would have pushed my hypothesis and worked in that direction. However being curious helped me explore the underlying reasons contributing to his inability to connect with his wife and help him overcome that.

Another client had come to us after her divorce. We served her in her goals of healing and getting better. However she would have pangs of anger and frustration every 3-4 months and she would judge herself for that. She would get very upset with herself for not being to maintain her stable state. Because we had learned to be curious we helped her be curious each time she had an incident instead of judging herself. Being curious helped her and us go deeper in to the layers each time. We were able to go deeper each time, help her peel off each layer. Curiosity helped us address each layer and work on it with gentleness and caution. This wouldn't have been possible if we were not curious.


In the realm of life coaching, the dance of curiosity and non-judgment is the symphony of transformation. As coaches, we have witnessed the power of this dynamic duo in nurturing understanding, fostering trust, and igniting personal growth. Let's continue this dance, ever-curious and ever-open, for it not only serves our clients but also enriches our own journey of growth and enlightenment. Together, we move forward, one step at a time, embracing the transformative magic of curiosity and non-judgment.

Categories: Life Coaching