How to Make People Respect You | 10 Must-Know Habits

NAMITA PUROHIT Author

Respect is a powerful currency that smooths relationships, enhances workplace dynamics, and amplifies your impact. But earning respect isn’t easy

Respect is a powerful currency that smooths relationships, enhances workplace dynamics, and amplifies your impact. But earning respect isn’t always easy—sometimes, we struggle to gain it in certain rooms or feel undervalued despite our efforts. In this blog, we’ll explore 10 habits to gain respect at home and in the workplace, focusing on authentic growth rather than tricking or gaming the system. These habits will help you show up as a leader and earn the respect of those whose lives you’re impacting. Let’s get started!

The Power of Respect as a Social Currency

Respect is a vital currency that helps us smoothen our relationships, whether at home or in the workplace. It enables us to make an impact in others’ lives, lead effectively, communicate our desires, voice concerns, and foster better connections. Without respect, things don’t happen smoothly—decisions falter, crises escalate, and relationships strain.

Many of us face challenges in earning respect. You might enter a room and feel disrespected or poorly treated. Or perhaps you’ve built an incredible network, but when introduced, people don’t showcase your work with the authority you deserve. I’ve experienced this myself—being introduced in ways that don’t reflect who I am or what I’ve accomplished. It’s frustrating, right? You might also feel your family doesn’t respect your contributions, or despite pouring in hard work, someone less capable takes the leadership role, making decisions that impact you, your family, or your company’s future.

These struggles can stem from dealing with immature or toxic individuals—though today, we’re not focusing on toxic narcissistic people (I have a separate podcast on my YouTube channel, the Heal Strong Podcast, for that). 

Instead, we’re addressing situations where you’re doing the work but not getting the respect you deserve. If this resonates, say “yes” in your mind or share your experience in the comments below. Sometimes, the lack of respect comes from how we behave, show up, or relate to ourselves. It’s an inside-out thing, and today, we’ll explore 10 habits to change that.

Why does respect matter? It’s a social currency that helps your ideas travel across the room, smooths relationships, enhances communication, fosters friendships, and simplifies decision-making and crisis management. When people see you as respectable, doors open, and opportunities arise. While spiritually, we may focus on serving others without seeking respect, in practical interactions, respect is essential to make things happen. So, let’s explore how to earn it authentically.

Why Respect Isn’t Automatic?

Respect isn’t something you can demand—it’s earned. At home, just because you’re a parent doesn’t guarantee heartfelt respect beyond social norms. In the workplace, titles like VP, CEO, or director command positional respect, but true respect comes from the heart, at both personal and organizational levels. Some people may not respect you due to their toxicity or immaturity, and waiting for their validation might not be worth it. Instead, focus on what you can control: your behavior, presence, and inner relationship with yourself.

Today, we’ll cover 10 habits to earn respect naturally. You might already practice some, which is fantastic! For those you’re not, take note, and at the end, score yourself on which ones you’re mastering and where you want to grow. I’ll also share solutions to support your journey, so let’s dive into the first habit.

Habit 1: Respect and Honor Your Own Self

The first key to respect is learning how to honor and respect yourself. Close your eyes and think: How well do you take care of yourself? Are you aware of your needs, feelings, aspirations, and the layers of your personality? How compassionate and forgiving are you toward yourself? How do you treat yourself in different scenarios?

The way we treat ourselves sets the tone for how the world treats us. If we don’t respect ourselves, why would others? For example, if you’re okay living in a cluttered, dirty space, people won’t make efforts to provide a clean environment when you’re invited elsewhere. But if you maintain a neat, clean space, others naturally accommodate that. Similarly, if you’ve gone through something tough and someone asks you to do something, saying, “No, I need time and space to take care of myself right now, but I’ll get back to you,” prompts others to honor your needs. But if you abandon yourself to please others, you’ll wonder why they don’t see you need a break. Some leaders fall into people-pleasing, thinking it earns respect. It doesn’t. People respect those who show up as leaders, not those constantly seeking approval. 

Can you give yourself the validation you crave from others? I’m working with a client who illustrates this perfectly. We did an exercise reviewing the last 15 years of his life, and he shared how he feels horrible at work. Why? He reports to people less capable and talented than him, who need help with basics, despite his potential to be a CTO. He’s stuck at an individual contributor level because he’s married to a toxic, narcissistic, self-centered spouse. To keep her happy, he sacrificed his career, cooking, handling kids, and managing the household while she did little.

Every time he had a growth opportunity, she’d say, “Who’ll take care of the kids? Who’ll cook?” He gave up his aspirations, not honoring his needs, and got used to her manipulation. Now, as we work together, he’s learning to honor his needs and aspirations, communicating his priorities: “I need this time to grow my career, which benefits our family with more resources.” He’s setting boundaries, saying no, and his wife is gradually adjusting. This shift starts with respecting and honoring yourself. That’s the first tip—everything flows from there.

Habit 2: Show Up with Emotional Regulation

The second habit is showing up with emotional regulation. People respect those who stay calm under massive pressure. Srila Prabhupada, founder of the Hare Krishna movement, said, “The greatness of a person has to be estimated by the ability to tolerate provoking situations.” When you can tolerate provocation and stay calm, people salute you. Take Mahendra Singh Dhoni, former captain of the Indian cricket team, known as “Captain Cool.” He stays calm, focuses on logical decision-making, and leads his team to success, earning widespread respect.

Why is this important? People want to be led. They seek direction, and when they see someone with emotional regulation, they follow and respect them because it’s rare. Many lack this skill, so seeing someone calm in crises makes them feel safe under their care. Emotional regulation isn’t about suppressing feelings but being aware of your emotions, comforting yourself, and avoiding people-pleasing. You’re not looking for a “pick-me-up” from others—you regulate yourself.

An example from the Indian epic Mahabharata illustrates this. A prince, Duryodhana, wants to be king but doesn’t deserve the throne, which belongs to his cousins, the Pandavas. Lord Sri Krishna, acting as a mediator, offers a compromise: “Let your cousins rule five villages, and you can be king.” 

Duryodhana refuses, even rejecting counsel from his ministers. Krishna remains calm and composed despite Duryodhana’s hostility, presenting his points clearly. Duryodhana, lacking emotional regulation, gets angry, tries to imprison Krishna and his advisors, and ultimately loses the war, dying and losing everything. His lack of calm stemmed from selfish desires, not service to society. Emotional regulation, especially in crises, earns massive respect.

Habit 3: Set Boundaries—Kind but Firm

The third habit is setting boundaries. Respected leaders are kind but firm. If you’re too kind, with no boundaries, letting people do whatever they want in your projects or family, they may talk nicely to you because you’re easygoing, but they won’t respect you internally. You won’t be chosen to lead, whether at home or work, because leaders must protect. Without strong personal boundaries, how can you protect your family or organization? Weak boundaries cause suffering for subordinates or family members.

You don’t want to blur lines to be liked—you need to say what’s okay and what’s not. People respect that. Setting boundaries requires inner strength, which comes from knowing your needs, feelings, aspirations, values, and goals. It’s about self-awareness, extending to your family and organization. Many struggle with boundaries due to past trauma, fearing that drawing a line will make them unliked or cost them resources, a pattern rooted in childhood. These unhealed behaviors carry into leadership, making it hard to gain respect. Ask yourself: Do you have the inner strength to set boundaries and be okay with not being liked by some? It’s something to work on, building your inner core to stand firm.

Habit 4: Embrace Self-Leadership

The fourth habit is self-leadership—investing in personal growth, being disciplined, predictable, punctual, steady, and a person of integrity. These qualities define self-leadership. We all have past stories, like the client I mentioned, and in my programs, we teach how to retell these stories, learn from their impact, unlearn unhelpful patterns, and build self-leadership. Are you acting consistently with confidence, decisively with your team, and steadily as a person of your word? How much are you investing in your growth to be appreciated for your self-leadership? Decisions at home or work are supported by many factors, but how you show up stems from self-leadership, requiring a strong inner core and clarity about yourself. 

People say, “Wow, this person is really sorted!” or “They know what to do in any situation.” That doesn’t come from street smarts alone—it’s self-leadership, and you want to cultivate that. Let’s recap the first four habits: respecting and honoring yourself, emotional regulation, setting boundaries, and self-leadership. These focus on inner growth, impacting how you show up. They fall under self-love and self-partnering—loving and honoring yourself. To master these, I invite you to join my 8-week Self-Love Coaching Program, where you get access to courses, a community, group coaching with me, and optional one-on-one coaching. You’ll learn weekly how to develop self-partnering, self-love, and self-leadership. A lot of success comes from loving and holding yourself together. Click this link to know more and join, especially if you’re a high achiever feeling disconnected inside and wanting to lead from an aligned self.

Habit 5: Respect Others Authentically

The fifth habit is respecting others—honoring their beings, seeing them as spiritual beings with needs, feelings, emotions, values, stories, and aspirations, and encouraging them even in their lows. That’s leadership, and it earns their respect. Acknowledge their wins, don’t steal credit, and give credit where it’s due. This shows security, whether at home or work, and people respect that.

I had a leader during a low phase in my life when I behaved in ways not aligned with my nature, not very respectable. Instead of criticizing me, he honored my journey, saying, “You did this because you were broken, and you were broken because you struggled so much, but you still handled it with grace.” I was ready to be blasted, but his approach earned my deep respect. He could do this because he’d learned to honor his own needs, be compassionate, forgiving, and loving to himself, understanding how his story shaped his behaviors. 

It all starts with self-love, which is why I invite you to join my self-love group coaching program to become a solid leader and master these steps. When you respect others authentically, not just to get respect back, you win them for life. Not many treat others with such honor, making it special and fostering deep connections. But you can only respect others to the level you respect yourself, reinforcing the need for the first four habits and the self-love program.

Habit 6: Communicate with Clarity and Integrity

The sixth habit is communication. Are you clear in how you communicate your thoughts and ideas? Do you prepare well, thinking, “If I say this, what’s the outcome, and is that what I want?” Begin with the end in mind, filtering out non-essential parts to focus on clarity, especially with today’s information overload. Are you communicating with integrity, ensuring your words match your actions? What you do is also communication, and people look for that integrity in leaders. 

Communication is also about receiving—actively listening, valuing input at home and work, even when you disagree. How do you make people feel? Can you sense the “music behind the words”—their needs, feelings, beliefs, desires, and aspirations? Are you responding to these deeper layers or getting offended by surface words? Reach people where they are, adapting to their personality types. Some prefer logical communication, others need emotional care, fun, or predictability. Build speaking skills, project your voice, and communicate effectively in one-on-one, group, or digital settings. How do you make your spouse or children feel when communicating? 

Are they cherished, loved, heard, understood? The more you give that, the more they respect and trust you, wanting to be with you. I’ve created the Confident Communicator Bracelet to support communication, opening your throat chakra for calm, clear, integrity-driven communication with emotional regulation. It’s blue with lapis lazuli, rose quartz, and tiger’s eye for a solid standing. Click here to buy now from the world store and click here to buy from the Indian store. 

Recently, US Vice President JD Vance visited India, calling PM Modi a tough negotiator who drives a hard bargain. He said, “That’s one of the reasons we really respect him.” Modi’s clarity, integrity, and spine—not people-pleasing—earn respect. Don’t fear being different or unliked for standing your ground. People respect you more for it.

Habit 7: Balance Feminine and Masculine Energies

The seventh habit is balancing feminine and masculine energies in how you deal with people. If you’re always strict, rule-driven, or logical, people may respect you but feel unseen emotionally. Conversely, being all empathy and love, letting people do what they want, doesn’t earn respect either. As a parent, you can’t just be a friend—you need masculine energy for boundaries, rules, determination, and discipline, alongside feminine energy for love, care, guidance, and coaching.

In leadership, this means democratic discussions, hearing everyone, and coaching them to think differently (push model), but also pulling the team together when needed, saying, “This is what we must do for the organization’s good” (pull model). Balancing empathy with goal focus earns respect. People don’t respect purely feminine or masculine styles—they want empathy with boundaries and rules. 

In the Mahabharata, Draupadi’s five sons are killed by Ashwatthama post-war. She advocates feminine leadership, saying, “He’s our guru’s son; we can’t kill him. I don’t want his mother to suffer like me, and as kings, we must protect the priestly class.” But law and order require masculine leadership. They can’t let him go unpunished, so they cut his hair and remove a special crystal, equivalent to death culturally. This balance earns respect. If they’d followed only Draupadi’s empathy, the kingdom would see no law and order. If purely masculine, ignoring her compassion, they’d lose respect for not considering the full situation. In families, mothers and fathers balance these energies, as do leaders in workplaces, showing both heart and results.

Habit 8: Take Radical Responsibility

The eighth habit is taking radical responsibility. People respect those who own their responsibilities. I used to do workshops for the Indian Army Wives Association, meeting colonels and brigadiers. One colonel, recently reposted from Kashmir to Mumbai, shared how he personally knocked on civilian doors to find terrorists hiding there, despite the risk. When I asked if he was scared or could send his men, he said, “No, I’m the one knocking the door because I’m responsible. If I don’t, my team won’t respect me. I can’t put them on the firing line before me.” That’s radical responsibility—being a leader, not protecting yourself while others do the tough work.

At home, your role toward your partner, parents, or children comes with responsibilities. Fulfilling them well earns respect. Integrity matters—don’t promise your kids something to please them and not follow through, as it builds resentment. In the workplace, avoid promising without delivering. I know a philanthropist who promises much in charity events but never follows through, losing respect in the nonprofit space. 

Admit errors transparently. I’m working with a leader’s wife, an accomplished leader herself, hurt by his rude communication. Using nonviolent communication, she expressed her pain, but he gaslit her, saying, “What are you talking about? I didn’t say that.” That’s not responsibility—it erodes respect. A better response: “I’m so sorry, I hurt you. I’ll do better and work on myself.” In the workplace, if a decision fails, don’t deflect with “It was a team decision.” Say, “That’s my responsibility. I’ll fix this mess.” Owning mistakes, even publicly, earns respect, not blame.

This requires inner strength and a strong solar plexus. My Personal Power Bracelet supports this, boosting courage and integrity. Click here to buy from the world store and click here to buy from our Indian store.

Habit 9: Develop Subject Matter Depth and Vision

The ninth habit is having subject matter depth. To be respected, you need expertise in your domain. At home, guiding your kids’ career choices with random advice like “Take this because everyone’s doing it” won’t earn trust. Do your research. My friend asked me to plan a trip to a holy place for her rituals. Though I knew nothing about it, she trusted me to research and optimize the plan. I’ll do my homework thoroughly, not haphazardly, to ensure she’s happy with her choice. In the workplace, lead with expertise in your genius zone, cultivating it to guide your team. 

If you’re promoted or switch roles, be transparent about areas you’re learning, saying, “I’m not good at this yet, but I’m happy to hear suggestions from the team.” Depth isn’t enough—you need vision. Knowledge is like ChatGPT, but vision—where you want to take your family, team, or organization—sets you apart. Cultivate both to grow respect.

Habit 10: Cultivate Executive Presence and Leadership Brand

The final habit is building executive presence and a leadership brand. Executive presence involves gravitas—showing seriousness and thoughtfulness with emotional and subject matter depth. It’s how you communicate, appear, and show up, from body energy to dressing to exude respect. Your whole being matters, and it’s an inside-out process. Your leadership brand is what makes you special—your unique selling proposition (USP). 

What are you known for? What makes you stand out in relationships, problem-solving, or your domain? I referenced Kamala Harris, who lost the US presidential election. Despite her polished appearance, her cackling laughter during speeches lacked gravitas, undermining trust in her leadership. Executive presence and subject matter expertise were lacking, contributing to her loss.

What’s your USP at home or work? What do people come to you for because it’s your brand? Cultivate this to earn natural respect.

Recap and Invitation to Grow

Let’s summarize: respect starts with honoring yourself, mastering emotional regulation, setting boundaries, embracing self-leadership, respecting others, communicating clearly, balancing feminine and masculine energies, taking radical responsibility, developing subject matter depth, and building executive presence. These habits require a strong inner core, rooted in self-love.

Rate yourself on these 10 habits—aim for at least a 7/10 to be a high-quality person who earns respect. It takes time to build trust, so don’t expect instant results. If you’re unsure of yourself, struggle with your emotions, or feel disconnected, join my 8-week Self-Love Coaching Program to build clarity, self-leadership, and integrity. It’s transformative for your personal and professional life. For those ready to advance, check out the Lead with Ease Academy for deeper leadership training. Links are in the description.

The program offers a $99/month self-starter option with modules and community access, group coaching for personalized guidance, or one-on-one coaching. Connect with me to start your journey.

Looking Ahead: 

Next week, we’ll tackle burnout—protecting yourself from relational, emotional, or physical fatigue that many leaders face. Stay tuned by subscribing to my YouTube channel (link in the description). A video about the self-love coaching program will also be available soon. 

Thank you for joining me! I wish you a wonderful week filled with self-partnering, self-love, and unconditional self-compassion. May you become healed, whole, and grow with ease. Reach out for help, and I look forward to serving you!

You can also watch my youtube video on this topic here

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Categories: : Leadership, Personal Growth