Stop Playing the Victim

The Victim Posture seems powerful but it actually makes you powerless

A victim mindset is a term used to describe a psychological state where an individual perceives themselves as constantly being victimized by external forces, circumstances, or people. This mindset can have negative effects on an individual's mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.

People with a victim mindset tend to see themselves as helpless, powerless, and hopeless, and believe that others are intentionally or unintentionally causing them harm. They often feel that they are being treated unfairly, and that the world is against them. This kind of thinking can lead to feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment towards others, and can make it difficult for them to take responsibility for their own actions and decisions.

People with a victim mindset may exhibit a number of common behaviors and thought patterns, including:

Blaming others: They tend to attribute their problems and failures to external factors, such as other people, circumstances, or luck, rather than taking responsibility for their own choices and actions.
Self-pity: They may indulge in self-pity and constantly seek sympathy and attention from others, focusing on their own suffering and hardships rather than finding solutions to their problems.
Helplessness: They may feel like they are unable to change their circumstances or take control of their lives, leading to feelings of powerlessness and despair.
Negative outlook: They may have a negative and cynical outlook on life, often expecting the worst and anticipating failure or rejection.

Victimhood for 25 years

Once there was a woman who was in a difficult relationship with her husband. For 25 years, she had struggled to cope with the pain and unhappiness that came with it. She felt lost and unsure of what to do next. Despite her efforts, she couldn't seem to find a way out of her situation.

She tried different things to take her mind off her problems. She had set up a business but found it too difficult and wanted to shut it down. She tried doing a job but left it after only four months. She even tried running a home-based program but found it too challenging to maintain a routine. Everywhere she turned, she found something to complain about. She believed that life was too hard, her husband was too difficult, and she was not enjoying anything.

No matter how many suggestions were given to her to improve her situation, she found it too difficult, hard to do alone, not fun, or had too many difficulties. She continued to feel like a victim, thinking that everyone else had it easy except for her. She couldn't take the burden of responsibility of improving her situation.

Acting from the "helpess" child place

Once a client believed her life was in turmoil - her health was deteriorating, her career was at a standstill, and she felt like she was surrounded by the wrong people. Her father had constantly belittled her, causing her to lose confidence and ultimately ruin her professional prospects.

As time passed, she began to realize that her father was not entirely to blame. She felt that her mother had also played a role in using her and that her negative energy was having an adverse effect on her life. Additionally, she struggled to save money due to the financial burden of supporting her brother's education and career growth.

At work, she felt like she was stagnating, unable to make any progress while others around her seemed to thrive. She felt as if there was a negative force holding her back, preventing her from advancing. Despite this, she was only able to focus on the energy realm and affirmations, unable to confront the negative scripts that were impeding her growth.

She did not nothing to give up that victim mindset- that she was now and adult and could take charge of her situation however painful her childhood may have been

Both of these women carried the mindset: "feeling like a victim"," life is hard and difficult" -it did not help them in their growth. Kept them stuck in the same rut. They wanted to grow, but not make the investment of working on their own selves- what they were doing to clock themselves.

These two chose not to play a victim!

A female client went through a painful divorce after an abusive marriage. She moved countries and moved jobs, focused on her career and her own healing. She took responsibility of her life and got great promotions , beautiful relationships and benefitted herself.
Similarly another man, overcome his difficulties in a narcissistic relationship and started focusing on his own healing and then sharing his healing with other people.

Blaming and complaining gets you nowhere. You may get some sympathy from people but that does not change your situation. You continue remaining a low version of yourself, waiting for some outside force to come and change things for you like magic. Your situation does not change and continued getting even more tired of dealing with the same stuff day in and day out.

Maharaj Pariksit and Vidura did not play victim

In the Bhagavad-gita Krishna makes it clear that we have free will. We are not incapable, helpless pawns. After instructing Arjuna He says, “Deliberate on this fully and then do what you wish to do.”-Gita 18.63.

As adults, each one of us has some ability to decide how we want to act; we have some self-mastery and personal power, and therefore we are responsible for our actions.

Maharaj Pariksit was unjustly cursed to die in 7 days. He did not choose to play victim, cry out at the apparent injustice nor curse in relaliation. Rather he thought about the how to make the best use of a bad bargain and achieves perfection in 7 days by learning about the true meaning of life and prepares himself to perfectly depart from the world.

Vidura gave good counsel to Duryodhana when Lord Krishna came to the Kurukstera assemby with a peace proposal. However, Duryodhana insulted him terribly and ordered his soldiers to "beat him so badly that he is left only with his breath". Vidura could have felt insulted and betrayed by how badly a junior like Duryodhana was treating him. Also Dhritarashtra, the King did nothing to correct Duryodhana, his son and heir apparent. Vidura does get emotionally affected, however he chooses not to play a victim, Rather he laves his position as prime minister and leaves the palace.He uses his time in going on a pilgrimage to perfect himself.

3 Important Lessons

We learn the importance of valuing yourself and not compromising your growth.

1) The Importance of Valuing Yourself: Stop Playing Victim and Take Charge of Your Life

The first lesson is to stop playing the victim and take charge of your life. It is crucial to work on yourself and take charge of your happiness to reach your full potential. If you compromise your growth, it indicates that you do not value yourself or your life, making it difficult for others to value you.

2) Learning How to Take Charge of Yourself:

Learn to Ask for Help and Be Happy Despite Your Situation The second lesson is to learn how to take charge of yourself, which involves learning how to ask for help, being happy despite your situation, and taking charge of your life. People who are happy and successful have learned how to take charge of themselves and moved from learned helplessness to taking responsibility for their lives.

3) Moving On from Learned Helplessness:

Taking Responsibility for Your Life The third lesson is about moving on from learned helplessness towards taking responsibility for your life. When you value yourself, you take charge of your life and do not wait for life to get better on its own.

Conclusion

To sum up, valuing yourself is crucial for taking charge of your growth and happiness. It is essential to learn how to take charge of yourself, ask for help, and be happy in spite of the situation around you. Finally, moving on from learned helplessness towards taking responsibility for your life is the key to becoming happy and successful.

How We Can Help You!

If you are tired of the repeating patterns in your life, tired of your own self, tired of trying to figure everything out on your own, feeling stuck unable to take charge of your life you can consider joining our coaching programs where expert coaches can give you a system to help you take charge of yourself, feel better, and live in a way that is beneficial to you, your feelings, your emotions and your growth at all levels.

We have 1:1 programs and group programs that will help you achieve these goals.

Know more about the program by going through www.namitapurohit.com

Categories: Narcissism, Personal Growth, Positive thoughts, self love, Spiritual