Stop Rescuing the Narcissist and Being Empathic to them!

Learn why extending empathy towards a narcissist can be a double-edged sword and how setting boundaries and focusing on self-care is crucial.

When we hear the word "empathy," we often think of it as a positive and desirable trait. However, when it comes to dealing with narcissists, empathy can be a double-edged sword. While it's important to recognize and understand the narcissist's behavior, exhibiting too much empathy can actually enable and perpetuate their abusive behavior.

Masters of Manipulation

Narcissists are masters of manipulation and often use empathy as a tool to control their victims. They know how to play the victim and use your empathy and compassion against you. They will twist situations and make you feel guilty for their behavior, and use your empathy as a way to keep you hooked.

Narcissists are experts at portraying themselves as helpless and vulnerable, tugging at your heartstrings and eliciting your empathy. They may feign helplessness or exaggerate their problems to get your attention and manipulate you into doing things for them. This plays on your natural desire to help others and makes you feel good about yourself when you are able to assist them. However, this is just another tactic used by narcissists to gain control and power over you. It's important to recognize this behavior and establish clear boundaries to protect yourself from being used and taken advantage of.

The more empathy and understanding you give a narcissist, the more they will use it to their advantage. They will use it as a way to justify their behavior, and make you feel like you need to continue to rescue them. This will enable their behavior and make them feel that no matter what they do to you, you will be there readily available to be abused and used.

The Entitled Client Who Wanted More

I had a coach who worked with a narcissistic individual for several years. This person was always in difficult family situations and the coach wanted to help them achieve their goals. The coach made extra allowances and arrangements for them as they would for any other client, but the narcissistic individual continued to take advantage of the situation. He acted in an entitled manner and ignored all boundaries the coach had set for him. When the coach enforced stricter boundaries on him, he revolted with anger, blaming the coach for being insensitive and judgmental and calling them toxic. He had forgotten all the extras the coach had given him during his difficult times.

This is a prime example of how extending empathy to someone with narcissistic traits can backfire. The more we exhibit empathy and understanding, the more they will use it to their advantage. It enables their behavior and makes them feel that no matter what they do to you, you will always be there readily available to be abused and used. It's crucial to use your energy in doing whatever basics you need to do in those relationships and focus your energy on your own spiritual and material growth, taking care of your needs.

Important Truths To Remember

It's important to remember that narcissists are not capable of change. They lack the empathy and self-awareness necessary to recognize their behavior and make meaningful changes. Your empathy and understanding will not change them or make them treat you better.

Instead of focusing on rescuing the narcissist, it's important to focus your energy on taking care of yourself. This means setting boundaries and sticking to them, saying no when you need to, and prioritizing your own needs and well-being. This may mean walking away from toxic relationships and letting go of the idea that you can fix the narcissist.

It's crucial to set boundaries and stick to them. A narcissistic individual will push boundaries and try to get what they want, but it's important to remain firm and not give in to their demands. It may be challenging at first, but in the long run, it will help you regain your power and control in the relationship.

It's also important to channel your energy into your own spiritual and material growth. Focus on building meaningful relationships with people who appreciate and respect you. Invest in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and take care of your physical and emotional health.

Conclusion

While empathy is an important trait, it's important to recognize when it's being used against you. Stop rescuing the narcissist and focus on taking care of yourself. Extending empathy and being understanding towards a narcissistic individual is not a good idea as there is no reciprocity Remember that you are not responsible for their behavior and that their actions are not a reflection of your worth. Instead, invest in your own growth and well-being, and surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.

Get the Coaching Support you need

We have a wonderful 1:1 and Group coaching programs that you can check out here. If you're looking to heal yourself, rebuild yourself, master yourself, understand your weaknesses, and overcome them, and heal yourself holistically, and become healed, whole, and grow and glow, then please consider joining our coaching programs. A lot of survivors of narcissistic abuse have now started thriving in their lives after getting coached by us. Some of them have even switched on to become coaches.

I see such wonderful transformations happening to their lives. There is a beautiful support group of people, supporting each other, and I would love for you to be a part of that too. If you're looking for a systematic program, if you're tired of those past memories, those past triggers, those past fears, and if you really want to come out of them so that you can live to your full potential, be happy, be healed, be whole, then join our coaching here. I look forward to serving you there.

Categories: : Narcissism