Why You're Not Taken Seriously (And How to Build Unshakable Confidence as a Leader)

The hard truth in most cases is this: they can sense your self-doubt. They can tell that you're not fully confident in what you're presenting.

Have you ever felt like no one listens to you? People speak over you. Your team members get invited to present their innovations on behalf of your own company, while you don't. At home, when you try to speak up or express yourself, you're invalidated, sometimes even mocked or laughed at.

Your children go to your spouse for help with the hard problems of life, while they come to you only for fun. And you're beginning to see a pattern. You wonder what's going on. You're the one with the ideas. You're the one who genuinely cares, who has the best interests of others at heart. You're the one doing the heavy lifting. And yet, people don't trust you. You're left asking yourself: Is it me, or is it them?

The hard truth in most cases is this: they can sense your self-doubt. They can tell that you're not fully confident in what you're presenting, even if it looks polished on the outside.

The Co-Founder Who Felt Invisible

One of my clients, a successful co-founder, came to me feeling deeply unseen—even in the very company she had helped build. Her ideas didn’t travel beyond the room. Her own team members didn't invite her to important meetings. Her contributions often went unnoticed.

At home, it was no different. Her husband and adult children often laughed at her, calling her basic. She shared with me how intellectually brilliant her family was, and how she felt unintelligent in comparison. Whenever she tried to join their conversations, she was sidelined or subtly dismissed with comments like "you don't know what you're talking about."

Despite always doing her best, working hard, and being responsible, she kept receiving the same treatment. She began to ask: What am I missing? It wasn’t her strategy; she was a brilliant thinker. It wasn’t her communication either; she had already worked with a coach who helped her articulate ideas clearly and use proper voice modulation. So what was going wrong?

The Real Cause: Internal Self-Doubt

Years of being dismissed had trained her to shrink herself. Even when she said the smartest things, internally she was second-guessing. That inner doubt showed up in her energy, her voice, and her follow-through. It affected her executive presence—not only at work, but at home too.

People, whether in a team or in a family, naturally look for leadership. They seek someone who carries solid energy, someone they can trust. When they sense self-doubt, they subconsciously step away—not because they dislike you, but because they’re looking for psychological safety.

When you're unsure, hesitant, or nervous, people notice. And even though it may be subtle, it deeply impacts how others respond to you.

What Real Self-Love Looks Like

This is where real self-love comes in—not the kind that says, "I’m the best" or "I need to look good," but the kind that says:

I’m good even if I fail.
Even if others don’t see me, I see myself.
God sees me for who I am.

True confidence stems from valuing yourself—not as an expert in everything, but in your area. It means giving yourself approval instead of chasing it. It means staying grounded, even if you make mistakes. When we started building this kind of self-love in her, things began to shift. Her ideas traveled. She got invited to important meetings. Her family began to listen to her in conversations, not because she changed them, but because she changed how she showed up.

She stopped trying to speak in their language or match their style. Instead, she spoke from her own place of knowledge, with grace and confidence. And that presence drew attention. Gradually, she started getting invited to global events and to speak on behalf of her company, something that had only happened to her team members before.

Her leadership shifted, family dynamics shifted & inner experience shifted. She felt excited about her future again.

Dhruva’s Story: A Lesson in Inner Clarity

This reminds me of a story from the Hindu scriptures—the story of Dhruva, a five-year-old prince.

One day, Dhruva tried to sit on his father’s lap, just like his stepbrother did. But his stepmother stopped him, saying he didn’t deserve it because he wasn’t her biological son. She told him the only way he could earn that place was by being born through her.

Heartbroken, Dhruva ran to his mother. She calmed him down and guided him to take shelter of the Lord. Inspired, he walked to the forest to meditate, determined to earn a kingdom greater than his grandfather's.

There, he met the transcendental sage Narada Muni, who tried to dissuade him. Narada told him he was too young and that this was the time to play and enjoy, not to pursue such intense goals. A five-year-old might easily lose confidence in front of a powerful sage, but not Dhruva.

He replied, "Yes, what you're saying is true. But I can't follow it right now. I need to do what I need to do."

Seeing his clarity and conviction, Narada decided to mentor him meeting him where he was. He gave Dhruva a method to meditate, and Dhruva went on to succeed in his quest and also get purified of his material desire even when it was fulfilled.

Dhruva's confidence came from honoring his needs and feelings and from being himself. He didn't feel pressured to become something else before an exalted sage like Narada. That clarity, that inner self-respect, attracted divine help and respect from others.

How Self-Love Creates Respect and Gravitas

Just like Dhruva, when my client started valuing herself not for performance, but from self-recognition, she began to attract respect.

People respect what you embody. If you love yourself, if you're solid in your own energy, others will want to align with you. When you're not seeking validation or emotional caretaking from others, you become a grounded presence.

You speak without shrinking. You set boundaries without guilt. You stop overexplaining in meetings. You no longer chase validation. You gain executive presence. You remain confident even when you don’t know something, because your worth isn’t on trial. You show up as a leader: not performative, but powerful.

Next Step: Begin Your Self-Love Journey

If you’re ready to build this level of presence, I invite you to join my 8-Week Self-Love Coaching Program.

And if you want to amplify your transformation, consider wearing the Personal Power Bracelet (India orders here). Designed by me with handpicked stones, it works on your solar plexus chakra to strengthen your inner resilience.

One client received a promotion shortly after using it. Another, in the armed forces, reported a noticeable shift in his command and presence.

These tools—combined with inner work—will transform how you think, speak, lead, and live.

If you’re seeking more personalized support, you can also apply for 1:1 coaching here.

Let’s Grow Together

Thank you for reading. I create weekly videos on leadership and personal transformation using Eastern wisdom and Western psychology. My goal is to help you build a life and career from the inside out.

Please subscribe to my YouTube channel and turn on notifications so you don’t miss future updates.

I look forward to walking with you on your journey of confidence, leadership, and deep self-love.

Link to my Video on The Topic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vuso-tnYO9w

Categories: : Leadership