Overcome your Guilt and Shame- Heal Strong from Narcissistic Abuse

Living with a narcissist can create feelings of guilt and responsibility that are not your fault ,letting go can help you find peace

Living with a narcissist can be a challenging experience, to say the least. One of the things that make it difficult is the guilt and responsibility that comes with the relationship. Narcissists are masters at making you feel responsible for everything that goes wrong in the relationship. It can leave you feeling guilty, anxious, and constantly questioning your own actions.

You Are Not Responsible For Their Part

It's important to remember that you are not responsible for everything that goes wrong in the relationship. It takes two people to make a relationship work, and it takes two people to make it fail. Narcissists are experts at manipulating situations to make you feel responsible for their behavior. They may blame you for their mistakes or try to make you feel guilty for standing up for yourself.

The truth is, you are not responsible for their actions or behavior. You are only responsible for your own actions and behavior. It's important to set boundaries and stand up for yourself when necessary, but it's equally important to not take responsibility for everything. Doing so can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and a loss of self-worth.

It's important to recognize that the narcissist's behavior is not your fault. You cannot control their actions or change their behavior. The only thing you can control is your own response to their behavior. If you continue to feel guilty or responsible for everything, it's time to take a step back and work on yourself..

You deserve to be happy and healthy, and that starts with recognizing that you are not responsible for everything.

Shame Can Overwhelm You Too

People can feel shame after trauma in narcissistic relationships because the narcissist often manipulates and gaslights their victim into believing that the abuse is their fault. Narcissists are skilled at shifting blame, making their victim feel responsible for their behavior, and making them doubt their own reality. This can lead to a sense of shame and self-blame, as the victim may believe they should have been able to prevent or stop the abuse.

Additionally, the trauma itself can be deeply shameful and embarrassing, making the victim feel isolated and alone in their experience. It is important for survivors of narcissistic abuse to recognize that the shame they feel is a result of the abuser's manipulation and not their own fault.

Strategies To Overcome Your Guilt & Shame

If you are struggling with feelings of guilt related to a narcissistic relationship, you may use the following strategies to help yourself:

Recognize that it takes two people to contribute to relationship difficulties.
Acknowledge that the narcissist is a master at making others feel guilty and responsible.
Understand that you cannot control the narcissist's behavior or actions.
Practice self-compassion and self-care to help alleviate feelings of guilt.
Seek support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist to process and heal from the relationship.
Take responsibility for your own errors: While it's important not to take responsibility for everything in the relationship, it's equally important to take responsibility for your own errors. Recognize where you may have made mistakes or caused harm, and work to make amends and improve yourself moving forward. This can help alleviate feelings of guilt and empower you to take control of your actions and choices.
Let go of the idea that you can change the narcissist or fix the relationship. Acceptance can be a difficult but important step towards moving on and healing.

Vidura's Example

In the Vedic scripture of Mahabharata, the story of Vidura is a shining example of how one can maintain their self-confidence and wisdom in the face of toxicity. Vidura was surrounded by people like Dhritarashtra, Duryodhana, Dusashana, and Shakuni, who mistreated him and used harsh words against him. Despite this, Vidura remained sure of himself and the advice he gave to them. He did not take responsibility for their negative behavior,nor believed their opinions of him and maintained his own integrity.

Vidura advised Dhritharashtra, Duryodhana, Dusasana, and Shakuni to do the right thing and follow dharma, but they continued to make toxic, narcissistic, and entitled decisions that harmed the Pandavas and many others. Despite being mistreated and surrounded by such toxic people, Vidura did not feel guilty or take responsibility for their actions. He knew that he had given them the right advice, but they had chosen to ignore it. Though he felt helpless in the face of their behavior, he maintained his self-confidence and wisdom and did not allow their toxicity to impact him. Vidura was a true example of a person who did not let the negativity of others affect his own sense of self-worth and wisdom.

Vidura's unwavering commitment to the Lord and his unfailing devotion to Him played a significant role in his ability to remain solid in the face of blame and mistreatment from those around him. His faith gave him a sense of purpose and a higher perspective that allowed him to see beyond the petty politics of the court and focus on what was truly important. He remained steadfast in his values and convictions, despite the challenges he faced. This inner strength and devotion gave him the courage to stand up for what was right, even when it meant going against those in power. His example serves as an inspiration for all those who face difficult situations and seek to remain true to their principles.

Conclusion

Remember that you deserve to be happy and healthy, and it's okay to prioritize your own needs and feelings. It's not your responsibility to fix everything or take on the blame for the other person's actions.

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Categories: : Narcissism